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SoulMaster71
Many folk like to know beforehand what is to be set on the table; but those who have laboured to prepare the feast like to keep their secret; for wonder makes the words of praise louder.

Age 33, Male

Sacred Defender

Deathless Lands

Joined on 10/9/07

Level:
35
Exp Points:
13,180 / 13,600
Exp Rank:
2,037
Vote Power:
7.63 votes
Rank:
Sgt. First Class
Global Rank:
987
Blams:
2,968
Saves:
6,057
B/P Bonus:
30%
Whistle:
Deity
Medals:
221

SoulMaster71's News

Posted by SoulMaster71 - July 14th, 2009


The Duck Division, responsible for recently hacking multiple Newgrounds moderators, are simply Hindol's grunts. Nothing but a distraction from the grand scheme, the Dysangol conspiracy. If Hindol thinks he can distract me with a bunch of "cl0nZX-and-Copycat" tricks, he desperately needs to think again, this time without huffing a whole 2-liter's worth of jenkem gas first.

Anyway, it doesn't matter now. The Council and the intelligence agencies have at last given me permission to divulge some truly secret information about our enemy. Note that this information is the key to the whole conspiracy, and includes the identity of some key players on the enemy's side. The fact that the leadership is willing to share this information with the public at this early stage is a sign of their devotion to openness, a devotion which, if things were right in the world, would be at least matched if not exceeded by the republics of this world.

First of all, you know how I said early on that this was based in the celebrity community? Faulty intelligence. Only a small percentage of the agents are famous. The High Lieutenant Commander happens to be famous, but her fame is not her own. Rather it is a gift from Hindol, in celebration of the sale of her soul and of her long dedicated service. According to the most recent reports, Steve McNair, too, was a Hindolist agent, and his girlfriend found out about the Dysangol conspiracy and moved to prevent it the only way she could. Most of the willing agents in this realm, however, are either celebrities or closely involved with celebrities. So without a moment more in hesitation, here's the profiles of some of the enemies.

Hindol: The bigwig, the top dog, the kingpin, the head honcho, the evil mastermind behind this whole plan. If it's bad, and it's happened in the last 10,000 years (meaning everything bad in human civilization, and some of the unfortunate events from before anyone figured out irrigation), you can bet he's at the epicenter. Like me, Hindol is immortal to the ravages of time, and unless he has agreed to leave the world in a battle, death by weapon is only temporary for him. Because he is not currently in this dimension, he acts solely through agents for this mission (some of which are willing, others are under mind control), but rest assured, it's all him.

Lady Gaga: The High Lieutenant Commander in charge of operations in this dimension. She's in charge of making the Dysangol resurrection go smoothly. She began selling her soul to Hindol at a young age. Piece by piece Hindol has gained parts of her mind and soul as she went ever farther into stardom and the music industry, in a manner similar to that in which Hindol sold his own long ago as he desired more and more power. As she sold her soul she rose ever higher in his esteem, and is now in constant contact with him, sometimes directly but other times through different messengers. And yes, by "Lady Gaga" I mean the one who sings Poker Face!

Dysangol: You don't want to deal with this guy. After defeating him in 1979 I went into a coma for 10 years, until I left that body behind to get a fresh start on life. He was imprisoned in Harlem, which is now a community of crack addicts (hence Gaga's decision to put the mind control agent in the cocaine supply). He is also Hindol's former overall second-in-command, and the most dangerous demon I ever battled. Hindol's entire operation right now is engaged in resurrecting this demon.

Khêrnak: Lady Gaga's dragon. Yes, like all evil sub-bosses, she has a pet dragon.

Cocaine & Crack: Don't let me catch you using this shit. As of now all known cocaine supplies in the Western world contain a potent mind control agent that turns you into Hindol's servant, and that mind control is only made worse when cocaine is modified into crack.

As usual, the precautions against American cheese, ranch dressing, and Dr. Pepper are in full effect, but then again when are they not? Shit's evil, don't touch it. Use Cheddar, blue cheese dressing, and Mountain Dew instead.


Posted by SoulMaster71 - July 11th, 2009


Mission Name:
Operation Card-Counter

Phase Name:
Blackjack

Phase Objectives:
Invade cyber-fortress
Raid datacenter
Obtain enemy battle plans
Invade dungeon
Rescue Vocaloid Miku Hatsune

Phase Outcome:
From the report of Kylapharos II, Primus Concilyatar of Kanatória:
"Blackjack Phase was, by most estimates, fairly successful. As the phase began, it seemed we would be in trouble; we had only managed to obtain two Yukkuri due to the meddling of the Council, and we noticed transdikoni* at the front door. Nonetheless, the Yukkuri performed their duty admirably, the humans and ex-humans were distracted, the transdikoni were killed (though not without some casualties), and the fortress doors were opened.

That was when the real battle began.

The first room into the fortress, and it was loaded with homosexual males. As pointed out by my friend and fellow Newgrounder Chewy2007, the cyber-fortress had the highest ratio of homosexual males of any command center on Earth. Had Drew Pickles not been with us, it might have been the end there: Hindol is possibly the only one since the beginning of the Christian era who has trained gays to fight as well as straights, and we were vastly outnumbered. Luckily Drew was there; all he had to do was pull out his gigantic penis, and the fags were having the most massive gay orgy since the fall of the Roman Empire.

The remainder of the group, small though it was, set out to storm the fortress. According to our maps, we would have to take control of three areas, though the official phase objectives set by the Council's War Committee only mentioned two. We would need to take the datacenter and the dungeon, as spelled out by the Council, and in order to damage Hindol's offensive in the realm it was decided that we would need to take the inner sanctum as well. I led my crew off to the inner sanctum, and let other squads take the dungeon and the datacenter, as planned.

Once we reached the inner sanctum, I found an old enemy. Quickly guessing its intent, I ordered my troops to stand outside the sanctum and prevent entry by enemy forces. At that moment, my second** battle with Transdikon Captain Ghlashnagh, now General Ghlashnagh, began.

The battle between myself and the General raged for an hour or more, by the report of my men. All I knew in the combat was that it lasted a long time, and that in the end I came out victorious, and indeed had my revenge for my humiliation and injury in the previous combat. The General dead, we had control of the fortress.

But despite my battle, I was not the hero last night. No, that credit will go to SCTE3, a man I met here on Newgrounds. For though I faced an enemy which had once defeated me, SCTE3, in his first interdimensional mission, led a squad of men down the most dangerous corridor in the cyber-fortress, singlehandedly broke into the dungeon, and by the camera recording that reached the inner sanctum, singlehandedly faced down and defeated Hindol himself, and rescued the imprisoned Miku Hatsune. That would be brave for any man, however SCTE3 did it as a mortal of this dimension, untrained in magic and with only what combat skills he has learned in his life. For this act of bravery I recommend him for the Order of the Spear.

Kholestaros and his men report no unexpected incident on the way to or from the datacenter, and if there was an unreported one the inner sanctum's screens did not show it.

During out return to the rendezvous point, we neither saw nor heard nor smelled any sign of Drew Pickles. We fear the worst, but hope the best, for this strong, secure gay man and his 300-mile-long penis. The Yukkuri were rescued and escorted back to their home dimension without incident.

Phase: Complete and Successful
Starting army: 200
Killed in action: 26 regular warriors, 4 regular officers
Missing in Action: 1 mercenary commander
Enemy casualties: 50 humans and ex-humans, 20 transdikoni
Territory gained: One fortress and surrounding territory in Disputed Dimension 19090-239-4932

End report"

*A transdikon is a creature of evil, made from Orc and dragon DNA and filled with a demon soul. When among humans it claims to be a human female, but do not be fooled: it is neither human nor female. If anything it is anti-human and male.
**About 250,000 years ago, the writer lost his left arm after being captured by an enemy unit led by the transdikon in question. A new left arm was cloned for him, one which he still uses to this day, but the enemy kept his original as a trophy. Kylapharos' "revenge" was retaking his own arm and cutting off Ghlashnakh's.


Posted by SoulMaster71 - July 10th, 2009


Mission Name:
Operation Card-Counter

Phase Name:
Blackjack

Phase Objectives:
Invade cyber-fortress
Raid datacenter
Obtain enemy battle plans
Invade dungeon
Rescue Vocaloid Miku Hatsune

Phase Outcome:
Will be reported when Phase is complete


Posted by SoulMaster71 - July 2nd, 2009


We've uncovered evidence of an insidious plot, based in the celebrity community, to resurrect an evil demon (the reason for the spread of HIV, the decline of Western culture, and worst of all the popularity of disco, actually) that we trapped in an underground chamber in Harlem in 1979, and so I've sent out my men to prevent this from happening. Michael, he was in on it, and after we got the info we needed, we made sure he wouldn't talk. Billy Mays was killed in retribution by an enemy agent. Farrah Fawcett just died of ass cancer, may her soul rest in peace. But the centerpiece, Lord Hindol's High Lieutenant Commander in charge of Mortal Realm operations, we haven't been able to catch her yet. We hear she's in England, or will be by July 13, but given Hindol's, ahem, "bent for security", we're not going to get at her unless we get her battle plans, and that's unlikely until we infiltrate her cyber-fortress.

So what can you do? Be on the lookout. Anything too suspicious, sudden spikes in homosexuality or 1970s nostalgia would be examples, and you'd best report it. Oh, and make sure not to use any cocaine or crack. She's laced the cocaine supply with a mind control agent that will turn you into her pawn (marijuana is OK). Oh, and any advice on the plan will be accepted based on its merits (the most likely current suggestion involves Drew Pickles and Yukkuri, but Yukkuri are so hard to gather...)

Operation Card-Counter is go.

UPDATE 7-3-09 5:46 PM
Miku Hatsune has been kidnapped. Her whereabouts are currently unknown, though we are currently moving at full speed to locate her.

UPDATE 7-4-09 5:02 PM
Steve McNair is dead, in an incident possibly related to Hindol's plot. No further information is available at this time.


Posted by SoulMaster71 - June 26th, 2009


Once, it was a little thing. I could handle it.
The second time, it was annoying. It pissed me off.
But three fucking times?! This is just fucking annoying. I want to kill someone so bad right now...

For those too fucking dense to get what I'm referring to, I'm fucking sick of people not noticing my fucking threads. I put effort into those things, goddammit! I make them with care, writing what I can on a subject and leaving openings for discussion. You people complain about shitty posters talking about their generic real-life experiences? I have purposefully given up my real life for you people. Every possible moment is spent right here on Newgrounds, or on other Internet sites, learning what I can about an Internet-related topic. You complain about people not using proper spelling and/or grammar? I always try to exhibit spelling and grammar that, while not always perfect, at least gives a clear indication that I respect you people enough to write properly. You complain about "all the good people leaving"? Every day, every post, I try to make myself better, so that I can, in some way, fill your image of how a "good poster" should act.

But that's not enough for you, is it? There's literally only one person who would often reply to my posts on these forums, who would make it a point to discuss things with me. That person knows who he is, and it's him I'd like to thank for making my first year and a half here awesome. But guess what? He's permabanned now, for the third or fourth time. Poozy said this one won't be allowed to lapse. You know, he was bragging about previous permabans, so I don't know if it was fully unjustified, but it still sucks. And the rest of you, despite all your fucking efforts to appear otherwise, don't give a shit about "discussion" or "originality"; you just want to make the same old cock jokes until your fingers fall off from typing "LOL PENIS" too many times.

Maybe the mass exodus not too long ago should have made some of you wake up. People are leaving General, and the BBS as a whole, in droves. You know why? WilliWowza gave crappy moderation as a cause, but that's not it. The mods don't make most of the threads. The mods don't post most of the content. If you were any good, it wouldn't matter whether the mods were as strict as some users would want or not. But you suck, Newgrounds BBS/General Forum. You make threads about masturbation, sex, school, and the ever-popular concept of penises, and then you complain when that's all that there is. But when I try to make a break in that poor excuse for conversation by starting a topic about something online that I find interesting, you retards ignore me and go right back to posting about the same old shit!

I'd say "I'm not going to take it anymore", but I don't see any other choice. I'm back in the full swing of Newgrounds, so another "vacation" isn't an option right now, and I'm certainly not going to lower myself to your level, since my real life, or what parts of it I haven't sacrificed for you people, is completely bland and uninteresting (and therefore not worth discussion). The third possibility, spamming and trolling, would make me an outlaw and a traitor on my favorite website. But none of those give the desired outcome. I'm both angry and confused, and I have no idea what to do!

TL;DR: Fuck you for ignoring my threads you dirty cum stains on the fabric of Western society.


Posted by SoulMaster71 - June 15th, 2009


Newgrounds, I have a confession to make. I am, and have been since at least October 2008, a racially aware white man, or as the gAyCLU would love to label me, a "racist" and a "white supremacist".

Now let me clarify this. I don't "hate" blacks, Hispanics, East Asians, Middle Easterners, or any other racial or ethnic group based solely on their race or ethnicity. If I hate anyone it's the neo-Nazis and others who give racially aware individuals like myself a bad name, as well as the dangerous "walking stereotypes": criminal black and Hispanic gang members, jihadist Islamic fundamentalists, destructive Jewish bankers and lawyers, that sort of thing. However, through anecdotal evidence from professionals, to crime, disease, poverty, and intelligence, to simple observations of history (we built civilizations, Asians built civilizations, Middle Easterners built civilizations, the Native American groups which went on to become Hispanics built civilizations, but once you got to sub-Saharan Africa... Nothing but mud huts and jungle), I have become of the inferiority of much of the black race to the other races of the world. I have also become aware of the special role of whites in the creation of many modern inventions (though this is not intended to exclude the major roles of other peoples' contributions either). And because of this, I am now racially aware, and despite my acknowledgment of the multitudinous Asian races and ethnicities, as well as those blacks and Hispanics who do not engage in violent and stupid behavior but instead join in the continuing process of building and maintaining human civilization, as my equals, liberals (at least those who read it, which will be pretty much limited to established Newgrounders) will try to paint me as a "white supremacist".

But who, really, is the white supremacist? Is it me, who believes that all people should be held to the same standard of behavior regardless of race, and acknowledges when this or that category of people is not performing as well as another? Or is it the left-winger, who do not hold the black man to his under-performances, instead blaming the white establishment when not only did de jure segregation end a generation or two ago, but since then the white "establishment" has given them extra opportunity for success with affirmative action programs. I treat the black man as an adult and hold him to his faults, and when failure seems to be a quality of the black race, I call what I see. They treat the black man as a child, and see society as his mother, responsible for feeding and clothing him from birth to death. Which of us, then, really tries to "keep the black man down"?

I'll admit, there are black men and women who achieve great things in this country. I laugh at some African-American comedians' jokes, just as I laugh at some white, Hispanic, or <a ny other race goes here> comedians' jokes. I don't like that damned socialist Obama at all, but I can respect what he did... I mean, even with affirmative action, white guilt, a media that sucked up to him during the whole fucking campaign, and to top it all off an economic crisis that began a month or less before Election Day, it's still hard to become the President, right? Condoleezza Rice might be a better example, if only because I actually agree with her on some issues. And I can appreciate those achievements, ignoring race. However, when blacks are that much more likely to be poor, or to have AIDS, or to commit rape, robbery, or murder, or to be mentally retarded... It's not the white man's fault. It's probably the retardation, but for me to say this is just asking for flames from the left.

So there you have it: I hereby admit, in the presence of all Newgrounders, that I am racially aware. In addition to being aware of the differences between the different races of man, I am also aware of the place of my own people in the world. I am also aware that there will be consequences, foreseeable and unforeseeable alike, to my admission, but I feel there must be no secrets between myself and my community.

One small addition: I do not necessarily agree with the full conclusion of the Chimpout network and community, the conclusion that blacks are not "human" just by virtue of being black. Nor do I agree with their constant use of a particularly offensive word about blacks, a word which the Newgrounds system most likely won't let me use, so I'm not going to try it (you guys know which word it is anyway). I'm simply using their information, nothing more. I don't agree with the political conclusions of most mainstream media outlets, but I'm willing to use information from them in making decisions (once I can filter out the disagreed-with political content).


Posted by SoulMaster71 - May 21st, 2009


OK, so, I'm back. My hiatus was a seeming success: it astounded me how long I was able to go without Newgrounds, even missing some deposits during that time. I'd still be gone if the BBS hadn't called me back (seriously, the day after I left someone made yet another thread about age differences in relationships... I almost failed then and there, nearly went on another rant about fall 2004). I might try that again if I feel I'm spending too much time online, or that point depositing has become a chore, but I might be here for a long time before I do, if it ever happens.

So I return to the Internet today, only to find that in my absence, 71chan has been taken down through no fault of my own. Apparently the host couldn't cover costs (strange, since it had always been able to do so before), and shut down. I'd find a new free host, but I know none of them will ever compare to what I had at NXServe, so since the experiment was a temporary success (before some fuckjob decided to run bad PHP scripts and got everyone's account deleted for two weeks), I'm going to upgrade to paid hosting after I can secure a proper source of income (read: get off my fat lazy ass and get a fucking job). Maybe to a new domain name too. But my contest (with a total of $150 and moderator access to the boards) continues, even while the site itself does not.

Yes, I'm still the man who left you a little over three weeks ago. Yes, I'm still religious, homophobic, and a right-winger. But I've decided that out of all the Internet, this is still the best place for me.

I'm home.


Posted by SoulMaster71 - April 27th, 2009


Well, Newgrounds, after over a year and a half of awesome moments, it seems it's time for me to take a vacation from you. I love you all, but fact is, most of you don't even know me, and most of you who do hate me. This wasn't always so, but for a time we were enough alike that we could get along. And then I changed. My period as an atheist/agnostic ended, and I returned to the Church in which I was Baptized and Confirmed, and you came to hate me for being religious. I stopped being a liberal, supported McCain in the November election, and you came to hate me for that. And then the homosexuals/bisexuals among you came to hate me more than the rest, because I came to be once more the most outspoken enemy of queers outside the Westboro Baptist Church. And that's only the maybe 10% of active users who have ever heard of me.

That, of course, wouldn't be a problem if I still had something to do here, but lo and behold, those I once fought against are all either apparently gone like CuteAndFuzzy, half-gone like LordZeebmork, no longer enemies like BigFuzzyKitten (who is also gone), or completely off my radar now (too many to count). The spam I fought is all but dead, leaving me behind with nothing to do. Meanwhile, the new enemy isn't spam, or even actual rule-breakers (well, they still are the enemy, but that's a bit different), but instead just plain old idiots who make shit Flash because they can do no better, and idiots of the same sort who upvote those same shit Flash for being "lol sooo randum lolol". But while I would love to deal with them, I just don't know how to, since unlike the people I used to fight these children do not frequent the BBS, and I've lost all interest in reviewing.

So here we are, at the end of this story. I've cherished the time I spent with you all, but the situation that kept me here has changed. I stayed here because it got me off of WWE, but now Newgrounds has become WWE to me, complete with the very penis humor that made me think D-Generation X was so hilarious. But NG didn't just directly save me, it taught me a lesson, and to not remember that lesson when NG itself becomes my addiction is simply foolish to say the least.

Of course, I'm not gone for good, nor am I planning never to check NG again. In fact, I'm still going to deposit my experience daily, or at least whenever I remember to deposit. As for anyone contacting me... This place is pretty much a bad idea, since I might end up checking it like once a week or whatever, at some point. That pretty much leaves AIM and MSN and e-mail, and of course 71chan, which is currently not completely working due to new PHP restrictions by my host, but will eventually be up at full capacity. In fact I invite anyone to contact me if they want to, or to go to 71chan.

Until next time,
SoulMaster out!


Posted by SoulMaster71 - March 9th, 2009


Sorry I'm late on the post, hadn't found anything to RAGE about for a while... But now, I'M FUCKING PISSED AGAIN!

So here's the story. I was browsing an imageboard when I got this e-mail from NXServe, the free host I was using for 71chan.
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Hello <my name here>,

This message is to inform you that the following package with NXServe - Fast and FREE Hosting has been suspended:

Package: NXServe FREE Plan One
Domain: 71chan.co.cc
Username: *******

If you feel that this is in error, please notify the support department immediately.

Thank you,
NXServe - Fast and FREE Hosting
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Most likely, it was the proxy I set up last night. I guess for a moment I was too preoccupied with trying to get around my school's firewall (trying to access Paheal from school) to remember that their ToS forbid proxies. FUCK! I'm mad at myself right now, for letting a momentary indiscretion ruin my best free host yet! I'm mad at LordZeebmork for even putting the idea of setting up a personal proxy into my head! And I AM FUCKING PISSED AT NXSERVE! What, I can host user-submitted content with an imageboard format for over a month, including pornographic content, but one little proxy, and BAM! I'm gone in less than 24 hours?! Jesus Christ, at least give me a warning before banning me, like send me an e-mail asking me to remove the proxy/multimailer/any other offending content before whacking me with the b&hammer! And

Fuck, now I almost guess I know how spammers and such feel when they get locked out of their NG accounts...

EDIT 3-13-09: Account unsuspended, offending content removed. 71chan is therefore BACK UP! However the art contest has been extended to May 20th for entries and June 20th for winners.


Posted by SoulMaster71 - February 14th, 2009


OK, NG, this is your mid-monthly reminder about the 71chan Logo Art Contest, sponsored by 71chan! This is your chance to win $100 or $50 dollars if you're the best or second best, plus moderator privileges on 71chan for anyone who gets picked. Currently we have THREE boards that need logos: /b/, /temp/, and a hidden board for ban appeals. I would also like to ask that you use the Uploader for any files you need to upload publicly: It currently supports many different file types, and can be used to upload large files.

Until next time,
SoulMaster out!