Mission Name:
Operation Card-Counter

Phase Name:
Blackjack

Phase Objectives:
Invade cyber-fortress
Raid datacenter
Obtain enemy battle plans
Invade dungeon
Rescue Vocaloid Miku Hatsune

Phase Outcome:
From the report of Kylapharos II, Primus Concilyatar of Kanatória:
"Blackjack Phase was, by most estimates, fairly successful. As the phase began, it seemed we would be in trouble; we had only managed to obtain two Yukkuri due to the meddling of the Council, and we noticed transdikoni* at the front door. Nonetheless, the Yukkuri performed their duty admirably, the humans and ex-humans were distracted, the transdikoni were killed (though not without some casualties), and the fortress doors were opened.

That was when the real battle began.

The first room into the fortress, and it was loaded with homosexual males. As pointed out by my friend and fellow Newgrounder Chewy2007, the cyber-fortress had the highest ratio of homosexual males of any command center on Earth. Had Drew Pickles not been with us, it might have been the end there: Hindol is possibly the only one since the beginning of the Christian era who has trained gays to fight as well as straights, and we were vastly outnumbered. Luckily Drew was there; all he had to do was pull out his gigantic penis, and the fags were having the most massive gay orgy since the fall of the Roman Empire.

The remainder of the group, small though it was, set out to storm the fortress. According to our maps, we would have to take control of three areas, though the official phase objectives set by the Council's War Committee only mentioned two. We would need to take the datacenter and the dungeon, as spelled out by the Council, and in order to damage Hindol's offensive in the realm it was decided that we would need to take the inner sanctum as well. I led my crew off to the inner sanctum, and let other squads take the dungeon and the datacenter, as planned.

Once we reached the inner sanctum, I found an old enemy. Quickly guessing its intent, I ordered my troops to stand outside the sanctum and prevent entry by enemy forces. At that moment, my second** battle with Transdikon Captain Ghlashnagh, now General Ghlashnagh, began.

The battle between myself and the General raged for an hour or more, by the report of my men. All I knew in the combat was that it lasted a long time, and that in the end I came out victorious, and indeed had my revenge for my humiliation and injury in the previous combat. The General dead, we had control of the fortress.

But despite my battle, I was not the hero last night. No, that credit will go to SCTE3, a man I met here on Newgrounds. For though I faced an enemy which had once defeated me, SCTE3, in his first interdimensional mission, led a squad of men down the most dangerous corridor in the cyber-fortress, singlehandedly broke into the dungeon, and by the camera recording that reached the inner sanctum, singlehandedly faced down and defeated Hindol himself, and rescued the imprisoned Miku Hatsune. That would be brave for any man, however SCTE3 did it as a mortal of this dimension, untrained in magic and with only what combat skills he has learned in his life. For this act of bravery I recommend him for the Order of the Spear.

Kholestaros and his men report no unexpected incident on the way to or from the datacenter, and if there was an unreported one the inner sanctum's screens did not show it.

During out return to the rendezvous point, we neither saw nor heard nor smelled any sign of Drew Pickles. We fear the worst, but hope the best, for this strong, secure gay man and his 300-mile-long penis. The Yukkuri were rescued and escorted back to their home dimension without incident.

Phase: Complete and Successful
Starting army: 200
Killed in action: 26 regular warriors, 4 regular officers
Missing in Action: 1 mercenary commander
Enemy casualties: 50 humans and ex-humans, 20 transdikoni
Territory gained: One fortress and surrounding territory in Disputed Dimension 19090-239-4932

End report"

*A transdikon is a creature of evil, made from Orc and dragon DNA and filled with a demon soul. When among humans it claims to be a human female, but do not be fooled: it is neither human nor female. If anything it is anti-human and male.
**About 250,000 years ago, the writer lost his left arm after being captured by an enemy unit led by the transdikon in question. A new left arm was cloned for him, one which he still uses to this day, but the enemy kept his original as a trophy. Kylapharos' "revenge" was retaking his own arm and cutting off Ghlashnakh's.