OK, it's been nearly a month now since I came to NG, and already I've been changed by my experience here. In my eyes, NG is the Earth, the Sea, and the Heavens. Only The Legend of Zelda compares in total beauty, and then only by combining Ocarina of Time, Twilight Princess, and greatest of all, A Link to the Past. Before I first came here, I was stupid, failing some courses in school, watching professional wrestling in my evenings, and merely subsisting in the modicum of intelligence required to call one's self human. But on the night I first gathered up the courage to see what this "Newgrounds" was, I also was given, as a belated birthday present, The Legend of Zelda: Collector's Edition. These two influences, Zelda and Newgrounds, saved my intelligence and my humanity, and freed me from the chains that professional wrestling had placed on my intellect. It is yet unknown what in this place did this, but it is strong enough to break the spell placed upon me by Vince McMahon. More time must be spent here before I discover the secret, but there will be no chore in it, since I love this place and almost everything about it.
I say almost, because nothing in this world is perfect. Newgrounds is no exception. By the end of my first week in this realm, I had been introduced, through suffering the effects of one of their spam flashes, to the evil that is KittyKrew. Their seeming leader, the universally hated BigFuzzyKitten, seems to never think of anything other than how to next kill the brain cells of Newgrounds users. And their so-called "enemies", the Shades Gang, are no better. Yet even within the most evil and heinous groups, there is always some good. It was not the rank-and-file of the Nazi party which planned the Holocaust or World War II, it was Hitler and his highest-ranking cronies. So it is with KK, and presumably with Shades Gang. I have seen movies, made by aspiring KK members (even for KK entrance) which are worthy of Newgrounds (although, since they are KK movies, nothing near as good as, say, many of the Mario-related submissions). The evil seems to be located entirely in their seeming leader BigFuzzyKitten, as all of the good KK flashes lacked him as an author, and were made entirely by other members, under the KittyKrew name. These people need to be saved from KittyKrew, that their true talent could show through by their making of great flashes, rather than by causing pain and suffering to the users of the Portal through spam. My "site", if you can call it that, is a petition to end spam on Newgrounds, by adding spam as a criterion for blowing the whistle on a submission. If this petition succeeds, then spam will become as uncommon as hateful or stolen content, which is unfortunately still present, but not nearly so common as spam.
Yet despite this terrible spam, I retain a love for Newgrounds, due to its role in saving my mind from the eternal darkness of redneckdom. Friends, thank you for reading this. May P-Bot ever blam all bad movies before you see them, and may M-Bot delete the accounts of those with malice towards you. Until next time...
SoulMaster out!
---Error Discovered---
In the actual post, I referred to the ShadesGang as a spam group. They are not. A few members of the Shades have made spam-like posts, but on the whole, the Shades are more reminiscent of the early Clock Crew or Lock Legion, both of which are successful groups with good posts. When I posted the previous news post, I had only seen the spam, and not the good stuff. I was wrong to post on such insufficient information. I am truly and deeply sorry to any SG members who may have read this post.
My opinon on the Kitty Krew, however, remains unchanged. Until next time...
SoulMaster out!
---Posted 10-12-07---
